A year to embrace or a year to be careful around?

Good morning
Okay, so I usually write when I shouldn't, so this does not come as a surprise. 
The year is about to end and I have to admit that I feel somewhat frightend...what is laying before us? I don't know. 
To me my future is a mess. I have no job, and I am lousy at finding one. I have not enough confidence that I am able to attend the school I want, I wish I knew what school that was...
The thing I know is that I want to take up studying soon. 
I don't want to go around, unemployed for another year...I lose my disciple which is now as big as the head of a pin!
The least I could say is that I am frightend. 
I am in a hurry to start my life, I don't know if that is a good or bad thing but it sure feels like it is a bad one...It is like I am rushing to the goal without making the necessary stops... 
I also feel confused, which does not come as a surprise either. I need to have a structured life to make the most of it. That is what I feel now. 
Sometimes I wonder if the best thing to do is to study away from home...where I only have myself and focus on school instead of having all these kind of distractions around me. 
Maybe that plan is lacking...I mean, I could handle school before and get decent grades...I don't know, there is alot to think about and alot of decisions to make. 
One thing I do know is that there are alot of changes laying before me that I have to make.

Just some thoughts that is going around in my head at the moment. I feel that it is better to write them out and process them, maybe that will make things become even a little bit clear?

Over and out, Emma.